


Approval

by interstellar_burst



Series: A number of conversations about one or two things [2]
Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Gen, Little Sisters, Mild Language, New York City, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 05:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interstellar_burst/pseuds/interstellar_burst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unfortunately, unlike every other person in his social orbit, Bing did not thrive on confrontation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. February 12, 2013

Bing stared at his phone. Three weeks of radio silence from William Darcy wore thin about a week in. The video in which Bing and Gigi appeared together with Lizzie was uploaded, and Darcy had tried calling him for two days straight before he finally got the hint. Bing didn’t feel right about shutting him out, but he had no desire to recreate the yelling match he had with Caroline after she first watched the same video.

He had to deal with a sibling living under the same roof, so for the sake of civility he and Caroline decided to speak to each other again a few days later. Afterwards, Caroline practically frog marched him to tell the truth to their parents.

His mother then lectured him about the generations of Lees in medicine. From the ancestor who landed in the Bay Area selling herbal remedies to prospectors to the great-grandfather who was a medic with the U.S. Army convalescent hospital in San Francisco, before integration. His father was less emphatic; but then again, being one of the few educated young people coming out of a Depression-flattened area of the Midwest didn't made him all too sympathetic to the son who was now throwing three years of medical school back in his face.

So it was that he watched his best friend get a second chance with one Bennet sister in San Francisco, while he was guilt-ridden over another in Los Angeles.

For the first time in his life, he wanted to hit Darcy, even when he was comforting Lizzie Bennet. Jane was practically crying for all the internet to see, and he was about five months too late to do anything about it. He could feel the bile rise in his throat when Caroline showed up to make excuses for his absence.

His little sister too often needed to be reminded that her cynicism didn’t make her wiser.

_“You didn’t have to come with us. You didn’t have to sever all contact with her. We were just trying to protect you, and you seemed to go along with it!”_

_“Yeah? I’ve been trying to ‘protect’ you from William Darcy for years, but you’ve gone ahead and done whatever the hell you wanted on that score, haven’t you?”_ He knew it would be a direct hit, so it was with some relief that he watched his sister march out of the apartment. But even then he knew that Caroline was right, and furthermore, that he would eventually need to deal with his own bullshit.

However, for the first time since they became friends, it was Darcy who actually seemed to be in over his head.

Jane was no longer in Los Angeles, but before he thought about going back upstate, he had to speak to Darcy again, preferably while he was still in the general area. Unfortunately, unlike every other person in his social orbit, Bing did not thrive on confrontation.

It was after twelve in the morning; but if Bing remembered the dude’s habits accurately, he was likely still awake.

“Bing.” Darcy answered after the second ring, voice tired and hoarse, but slightly hopeful. Bing didn't feel like apologizing for the lateness of the call, but nevertheless --

"I can call another time."

“No, no, now’s good. Let me get a drink of water …” Bing could hear the sound of the phone being placed on the table and waited. “Alright … “ Darcy’s voice returned, clearer but still exhausted.

“Are you still in Orange County?” Darcy sputtered a little.

“Yes. But how did you --?”

“How do you think?” Darcy gave a harsh sigh.

“Bing, about those videos --”

“We don’t have to talk about those right now." Bing was taken aback by his own abruptness. "I just wanted to ask if you needed any help with …George Wickham.” Darcy let out a surprised sound at the other end, and Bing let him think for a moment.

“No, you don’t want to get involved in this. Fitz and I, we’ve got it covered.” Bing flexed the fingers of his free hand.

“I need to punch someone in the face, Darcy, and it might as well be this asshole.”

Bing could hear Darcy’s shaky intake of breath, and he immediately regretted his words. They spoke over each other.

“I’m sorry, man, I shouldn’t have --”

“Bing, you have every right --”

They both stopped, but Bing spoke again first.

“Let me talk." Bing took the silence for assent and moved on. “I quit med school. After Fall semester.” Telling Darcy, it seemed, was only slightly less painful than telling his parents.

Despite being two years older, the death of Darcy's parents, his resulting transfer from Harvard to Stanford, and then his intense apprenticeship at Pemberley had delayed his graduation by two years. So it was that he and Darcy were pairing senior year assignments with preparing for the MCAT and the GMAT, respectively. Sometimes he was invited to weekends of studying with the Darcys at their city loft and at their seaside vacation home.

“Alright.” Darcy’s tone was … unintelligible.

“I haven’t been happy for a long time. Except for Jane, that is.” Bing took a deep breath. “I was already feeling … insecure, and close to quitting last summer. So maybe I … let you and Caroline influence my decisions more than I should have. And while I’m angry about what you did, I don’t blame you. It was always my life, and my choices. I can’t make excuses for that.”

“Ok.” Darcy sounded so tired that Bing thought he might be falling asleep.

“Ok.” Bing repeated, not knowing what else to say. “That’s -- that’s all. I’ll let you go --”

“No, Bing, just -- " Darcy sounded like he had just woken up. "I'm sorry, alright? It's my fault. All of these ... issues ... involving ... you, my sister, Lydia, Jane, Li-Lizzie - have arisen because I apparently have such a low opinion of everyone's ability to deal with their own business."

"Don't be drama-"

"How would _you_ characterize it?" Bing was startled. This was perhaps the most emotional he had ever heard William Darcy.

"I don't know, we're all adults here --"

"That's the point. I didn't treat any of you like adults, like ... _peers_." Peers? Darcy sounded like such an old man, sometimes.

But Bing needed to put a stop to this because an emotional William Darcy was not yet in his wheelhouse.

" _Darcy_. I get you, ok? We all do. Well -- " he paused, thinking of Lizzie Bennet. "Most of us do, anyway. You want the best for everyone. But you're used to getting your own way, so you think you're entitled to get whatever _you_ think the best is."

That shut him up. Bing was mildly surprised.

"Well. We can't all live up to your standards."

"Bing ... " Darcy's voice was muffled, like he was covering part of his face. "Hear me out. I don't give a _damn_ about you being in medical school. Well -- I did, but only because I thought that's where you actually wanted to be. If you don't, well ... "

Bing waited silently, but the speech didn't follow. Apparently, Willliam Darcy wasn't going to talk to him about being irresponsible and ungrateful for his many privileges.

And from the silence on the other end, it was clear he wasn't going to talk about anything else either.

He couldn't help needling his best friend.

"You aren't going to harangue me about becoming infatuated with unsuitable young women?" Darcy let out a mirthless chuckle.

"I apologize, Bing." Darcy let out a heavy sigh. "I have been an absolute hypocrite."

"Yes." There was a long pause, during which Bing thought he could hear some fidgeting. "But, more to the point, when are you going to _tell her_?"

Darcy let out a huff.

"I suppose I could ask you the same." Bing sat back, surprised. He hadn't done the actual accounting for the number of days he would need before going back to Netherfield. His few volunteer commitments would end as soon as he finished his projects, much of which could be done remotely at this point.

"I just ... need to tie up some things here in L.A."

His heart started to pound. There were now no obstacles between him and Jane Bennet, except Jane Bennet herself.

"I'm going to drive in a few days." Bing took another breath. "I'm going to go, and tell her that I'm sorry." And brace himself for the probability that she was going to accept his apology, then tell him to fuck off in the most polite way possible.

Darcy didn't answer right away, and Bing was on the verge of letting him off the phone when he spoke again.

"How much of those videos did you actually see?" Bing groaned.

"Enough to feel like the world's biggest idiot. 'Letters to Charlotte'? Half the Internet must have --"

"I take it you didn't see ... the ones ... involving ..."

"Oh, I did. At least you had the guts to speak to her directly rather than skulking around and then leaving like a coward." Bing practically spit out the word. That was it. His anger at Caroline and Darcy notwithstanding, he was the one who decided to act on other people's words rather than confront Jane directly. No woman with sense would take back a coward. An unemployed coward who dropped out of med school.

"That is more generous than my actions deserve, and too harsh upon yours." Darcy cut into his self-pity. "Perhaps if, like you, I were more modest in my self-assessment, I would have nothing to regret."

Bing didn't have anything to say to this. Darcy hesitated before speaking again.

"Bing, I'm ... I have a rather early day tomorrow, so ..."

Bing looked down at the desk in front of him. It seemed like Darcy didn't want to end the conversation quite yet, and he realized that the other man's tone was approaching something like uncertainty. This was something he rarely heard from William Darcy.

He didn't want to let Bing go without hearing some kind of confirmation. About where they stood with each other. Bing realized that through all of their relationship he was usually the one waiting for approval.

"I'll speak to you later, after you ... after we ... do whatever it is we need to do." Bing cleared his throat. "Although, if you need someone to hold a guy down or post bail or something, you know where I am."

"Thank you." Bing may have imagined it, but Darcy's voice sounded a tiny bit less exhausted. "I -- I'll keep that in mind."


	2. March 27, 2013

The purposefully unmanicured tufts of greenery contrasted attractively with the severe geometric blocks of cement and rich wooden planks. From the bench, Bing could see the metal railings of the old tracks cross the the thin birch trunks. He allowed himself to wonder if he would have enjoyed being an architect, had he been graced with any kind of creativity; it would certainly be something to see people enjoying his work every day. Small groups of tourists, along with some well-dressed New Yorkers of the type seen in movies, walked slowly together, ate snacks, and took photographs of themselves among the rough-hewn garden landscape.

The High Line was becoming one of his most favorite places in the city. If you could say such a thing after spending less than a month in said city. Nevertheless, he was perfectly willing to take the hour-long subway ride from the office in Queens (if he made the correct transfers, that is) to meet Jane there for her lunch hour once a week.

The hollow clacking of platforms reached his ear and he turned to see Jane, dressed in just about the skinniest pair of jeans he'd ever seen on someone who wasn't a professional model or actress. She had paired it with a top that technically didn't have the sleeves to be called a jacket but was too tailored and idiosyncratically structured to be called a mere shirt. ( _A cape-shirt, maybe?_ ) Jane had acclimated quickly to the increase of formality in New York fashion circles by forgoing the pretty prints and felt hats during the workweek, but he was quite pleased to see that she hadn't given up on the milkmaid braids.

As if she seemed to realize she was being stared at, Jane blushed, and Bing recovered his senses enough to stand up and give her a kiss.

"Gyros, again," she said apologetically. "I'm sorry, I haven't gotten a chance to really explore the area." Bing moved to take the bag of food from her as she dug into her large tote to procure drinks.

"Sounds good. I'm sure New York City can provide enough variation on the sandwich. Um ... Is this ok? I thought a bit of shade might be good, but we can sit somewhere else if you'd like."

"Not at all, this is fine." At this, Bing moved to dig in, the smell of the gyros suddenly rousing his hunger. It was past one, after all. "Bing, are you sure this is alright?"

"What do you mean?" His hand paused halfway into the paper bag.

"How long did it take you on the subway again?"

"Not too long, I promise. I got on both transfers this time."

"But your boss? The other workers --?"

"Jane, if I'm at work for more than thirty hours a week, they're obligated to provide me with benefits," he cheerfully informed her as he passed her an unwrapped sandwich. "So Oscar _has_ to make sure I'm not there for at least few hours."

But Jane didn't seem to think that was particularly funny. Instead, she stared down at the pita and bit her lip. Bing put his own sandwich back down.

"Jane?"

"What are you doing about health insurance?" Bing sighed.

This is not the conversation that he wanted to have on a sunny New York City day.

"Well," he picked at the tin foil holding his sandwich together, wondering how much to tell her. "A small stipend comes with consultancy. So I can use part of it." At this, Jane took a small bite out of her sandwich, which he took as a signal to begin with his own. Nevertheless, a cloud had settled over them and the conversation that was waiting in the background for weeks was threatening to emerge.

The haste in which Jane had needed to begin work had knocked a few considerations by the wayside as they got the immediate decisions out of the way. Jane made quick work of preparing all the documents needed to sell her car. Then she had to pack and limit her haul to New York to a few suitcases that would tide her over until perhaps around the time she could return for Lizzie's graduation. In the meantime, Bing was contacting public health agencies in the Outer Boroughs to which he was referred by the organizations he served in Los Angeles. He also secured digs at a very discounted, very temporary rate from a couple of friends from Stanford who managed an apartment building in Greenpoint. He was pretty sure neither he nor Jane could afford to live there at the full rent, but at least they could take their time searching rather than falling into the first rat-infested studios they could find.

Unfortunately, they hadn't had time for a _real_ talk. The one where they discussed what he was going to try to do in New York. And for the rest of his life. As in, something other than Becoming A Doctor, and preferably getting paid for it.

Jane wasn't a fool. Once the hugging and kissing and crying were over, she had to know what his parents thought. He was pleased to report that the talk about moving to New York wasn't quite as traumatizing as the one preceding.

_"Alright, Bing, I have to admit that I know far less about non-profits than you probably do at this point," his father assented after Bing discussed his volunteer work and his future plans at length. "As for a possible Master's, well, your trust is still--"_

_"No." Bing was adamant. "If I go back to to school, it'll be on my dime. In fact, I’m thinking we should ask the lawyer to add some more clauses about when and how it can be used." His mother let out a whimper._

_"Mom," he walked over to her and sat so that he could place a hand over her the ones clasped on her lap. "It's still public health. That's still helping people." His mother smiled, but shook her head._

_"Is it selfish to want my son to be financially secure while he does that?"_

Bing didn't have anything to say to that. He knew words like "volunteer" and "charity" and "social work" didn't inspire visions of financial windfall. He also knew that Jane had much of the same fears: that despite his earnest intentions, he wouldn't find a way to make his career change viable. And Jane would partly blame herself.

Bing placed a free hand over her wrist.

"Everything will work out. I don't know in what way, but they will." Jane's smile didn't reach her eyes at all, so he continued. "No matter what eventually happens, I needed to do this for myself. Not everyone has the privilege of going for what they want. But it’s not just a whim for me, Jane. I’m going to work really hard to make sure this pans out."

He briefly considered telling her about the trust. However, talking about _that_ would have involved explaining the plan to keep it intact, for - he let himself dream - Jane and for any family they would have; but he very much doubted that either of them were, at this point, ready to have such things said out loud.

"But your mom and dad --"

"Just want me to do well, but they can't plan my entire life for me. No one can."

"No, I guess they can't." Jane finally managed a real smile, and Bing instantly felt relieved. Jane didn't exactly lack for object lessons on why trying to dictate other people's lives was such a bad idea.

"Has Caroline returned your calls yet?" Jane immediately caught the implied insult of her timing and pressed a hand to her mouth. "I mean --"

"Relax, Jane." He smiled, waving off her apologetic face. "And no, she hasn't."

"I'm sorry, Bing." He took a big bite of his sandwich and shrugged.

"Can't make her do anything in this state, so it's no use worrying," he said at length. Jane took careful bites of her sandwich and glanced at the other groups in the park.

"What if I say something? What if she thinks that I'm ... that I don't want to hear from her?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm the one calling her so I'm the one she's avoiding. For another ... " he paused, taking a swig and carefully considering his words. "Her ... feelings for Darcy ... " He was responsible for throwing the guy into her path, but Bing was always very insistent on keeping Caroline within certain boundaries.

Which was effective, up until very, very recently. Unfortunately, Darcy himself forgoing the aloof blowhard act tended to give the lie to the previously-consoling idea that he wasn't really up for any kind of relationship.

That didn't stop Bing from feeling guilty now.

"In any case, between being annoyed with me and then having to watch ... " he gestured, and Jane nodded. "Maybe she just needs some space."

Jane sighed. Bing knew the feeling. Being the oldest often meant taking the high ground, no matter how much the younger sibling was in the wrong.

He looked up at the tall buildings that surrounded them. They seemed a world away from the old brownstones in Brooklyn, but in the sunshine they were glamorous rather than forbidding.

Despite generally attesting to a hatred of nature, he knew Caroline would love this park.

Bing put down the sandwich and took the phone from his pocket.

_@that_caroline Hey, how come you haven't been returning my voicemails?_

**Author's Note:**

> Second ever attempt at fan fiction. All feedback welcome.


End file.
